Lost letters
by Misery Dane
Summary: Germany is cleaning his house and finds a letter that doesn't belong to him. It looks really old and was addressed to Italy, so he goes to visit. Only it wasn't just any letter, but a letter from Italy's loved Holy Rome. Will he be back or just disappear again? Updates Thursdays
1. The letter is delivered

Snowflakes where slowly drifting down to the earth just outside the car window, even from inside the German's car the air was still chilled and made his hands slightly numb. He could even see his own breaths of hot air with his ice blue eyes as he pulled into a large and grand driveway that lend to an equally impressive house.

As he drove closer the tall blonde, an almost blank expression on his face he was grabbing at some piece of paper. It looked like an envelope but from the way it was held just wasn't quite clear what it was. He walked up to the door way, the newly fallen snow almost crunching underneath his army boots and took a calm but slightly shaky breath. As he did this the cold winter wind seemed to stop even just for a moment, as if taking pity on him. Maybe it was because of the welcoming he knew to be waiting for him.

Being a personification of a country he didn't fear anything, wait no. That's not true; he did fear things, like losing or being a wimp. But mainly, he was afraid that he would be alone again, one of the reasons he'd put up with things like being playfully tackled by the other nation whom he was visiting.

He had braced himself from the tackle; he was visiting the Italy's after all. One had to be ready for anything to happen. But that was just it this time nothing happened, the one thing that Germany hadn't expected. The nation waited a few more minutes before knocking again. He braced himself again after landing his hand on the wood, but still nothing.

The blonde's heart was racing now, those thoughts filled his head.

Could someone have taken him?

Maybe hurt him?

The first few times the Italian was taken he had acted like he wanted him gone but in truth he was concerned the whole time for the younger nation. 'No. He is just taking a nap or cooking. Yes, he can never hear me from the kitchen.'

He had tried to convince himself but there was something just gnawing at him about the whole thing, his hands where getting numb as he searched for a key Italy had given him for things like this. Not like it was the first time he had come over and no one was home. As Germany slowly opened the door it creaked but he had expected that, they didn't take to great care of things like that, unlike their Garden out back.

The first thing he had noticed he was that the lights where all turned off, making it hard to see the paintings that hung on their walls, the elegant renaissance themed house seemed all dark. It gave off an eerie feeling. No, that wasn't it. It was a different feeling.

Depressed, that was it. It gave off a cold sad feeling.

Germany kept walking though, even though he kept tripping over different stuff scattered over the place. He knew that somewhere, there was a laughing South Italy named Lovino since he had the feeling that it wasn't Italy's doing, he was too kind for that.

He now called for the other nation, hoping that he was home. He didn't like the feeling inside, not this kind of cold. He didn't even know that the Italy's house could feel that way, ever so lonely.

"Vay!? Vhere are zou, Italy?!" His accent wasn't as strong since he was yelling, he said nothing else but the same phrase over and over. As he shuffled to the kitchen falling a few more times he looked down at the letter he had gotten him to go all the way there, but only every now and then. It looked untouched, unopened and not wrinkled at all. This was impressive since the amount of power he was holding it with.

He was holding onto a counter to help guide himself once he got into the kitchen, no longer trying to call for the other nation. His lightly coloured eyes where finally adjusting to the little amount of light and then there was the window, the window lead outside. It was closed since it was so cold out but you could still feel a slight burst of air rush past as you looked outside into the wintery scene. The snowflakes gathering and clumping together creating a blanket of snow that covered their garden and the fields behind them. It was all so peaceful.

The light let in from the window let Germany see a dark showed figure curled up at the bottom of an island that was off to the right hand corner of the kitchen, as he walked closer making sure not to make too much sound he recognized a slightly familiar sound, though he didn't know from where he had heard it before.

The sound of sobbing, was that Italy?

The nation was in his usual uniform he wore almost everywhere but training. It was the light blue one of course, the one with a few belts and was easy to run away in; he did that rather than fight anyway. But as Germany got closer and crouched next to him he noticed that the Italian's sleeves where wet, most likely from his tears though.

Then there was the framed thing in his hands that where wrapped around his knee's holding himself in a ball, making it so that most of his sobs didn't make a lot of sound. It looked like a picture of some sort. As Germany got closer and closer he crouched next to the weeping Italian, and not to scare him or anything he cleared his throat. This made a low grumble sound that caught Italy off guard, causing him to drop the thing he had been holding.

It fell with the picture side up, but it still cracked a bit but only around the part of the older nations faces where though. Germany couldn't see in much detail but he could make out that Hungary and Austria in outfits he thought he had never really seen but that was only in Hungary's case since he didn't talk to her much. In the lower half of the portrait there where two more nations though he couldn't figure out who they were at first.

One of them was in a small frilly maid outfit holding something that looked to be a bush broom, wait. He suddenly saw a little curl sticking out of the young nations head and took notice to the eye's which hadn't been open. His heart was beating ever so fast once he had noticed this, why was that? Why was the fact that he noticed Italy in a dress do that? He bushed the thoughts aside as he scanned over the picture once again over the short minute he had been looking at it as he moved even closer to Italy; who was still in shock himself from the nation being there.

Then there was that one little dark clothed nation in the corner. Blonde hair but it had been brushed back and placed under a hat, sharp eyebrows but not bushy like England's, even light baby blue eyes that would send a shiver down anyone's spine. And for the life of him Germany couldn't place him. He couldn't be Norway or Iceland since they had both grown up with other nations at the time. So who was he?

His minute was up though so he didn't bother himself with it the young nation anymore and took notice to Italy more. "Vee~! Luddy you scared me!" He said his voice high and slightly shrill at the start. "What ya doing here?" He said after another minute of calming himself down trying to hide his tears a little.

Germany couldn't help but take Italy's face in both of his hands and stare worriedly into his eyes. He then moved his thumb to wipe away the remainder of his tears as he sighed a little.

How was he so suddenly happy again? If it hadn't been for a minute ago he would have thought nothing had been wrong, his little happy Italy. The one who would always yell about his favorite food and try to get him to eat it, why was that? Did it help to have someone else not notice for a while? There was suddenly this sinking feeling in chest as he continued to stare at the younger nation. "Feli." His voice was the usual deep one but it was somehow different too. Maybe the sound of worry mixed with confusion was it, not that Italy would have noticed.

Italy suddenly had that huge cheery smile on his face as his attention was being held by what was in Germany's hand. The letter again. "Vee~ Is that for me? Yay! Letters!" He said trying to reach it but his arms where too short to do so.

That right, up until now he had forgotten why he had visited Feli today. The lost letter that he had found and was addressed to not him but the small nation that was in front of him.

Germany cleared his throat and handed Feli the letter. "Um Ves. I vound this ven I vas cleaning. It must have been a mix up vith za postal zervas." After he had finished he cleared his throat again, maybe Italy didn't want to be noticed like that and that was why he had changed the subject. He didn't call the Italian on her but is he still worried about him.

As the letter was shown to him Italy looked completely, even his breathing had stopped at the moment. The letter had been tattered by time but nothing else seemed to have been in contact with it. Even the small ink smudges where still there though the envelope had yellowed and began to wear at its edges. Then there was that perfected handwriting that spelled out Italy's full name and who it was from. That was the reason he was frozen.

How long had it been since he saw that writing? Since that day with the wind and the little blonde boy had left him and swore to return? That tearful day as the wind blew softly making his dress blow with it and he got scolded for losing his push broom? He couldn't even remember the years now just the date; that date was forever stuck in his mind.

The redhead's breath was taken away, could have been him for real? It looked unopened so it had to have been one of the lost ones that he had always wished would show up. He took it in his shaking hands as he just stared down at it. Holy Roman Empire? He looked at the date and gasped in a little. The date was later than the war; even past the date he died so how could it be?

Tears began to fill his hazel eyes again, no not today. Not after so many years could he just have reappeared and come back for him not now. His heart both sank and filled with hope all at once, it was an awful and amazing feeling to have. He hugged the letter almost forgetting Germany was there and whispered, "I love you Holy Rome." As a few more tears ran down his face making the tall blonde who was still worried about him panic a little.


	2. Memories

The room was starting to get chilly as the two nations where huddled around the letter, both holding their breaths though Germany didn't know why he was he didn't have anything to do with the letter. But there was something about it that just made him feel guilty and want to read it as well; it was an odd feeling for him.

There was just something pulling him towards it, maybe it was just how old the letter looked and that he hadn't noticed it before the other day but there was also something else about it that he just couldn't put his finger on quite yet. It was just there. Italy's hands where still so shaky as he went to open the top of the envelope and his heart was racing to fast for him to think straight.

Though despite this all the thought he had over the years, what had happened to his first love call suddenly came rushing back to him. Why did they have to choose the day that he had supposedly died to have this letter returned to him? Just why, today?

Once Italy had opened the top of the envelope he reached in slowly and pulled out the worn out letter that was inside. The paper was a yellow and thinner than it should be, so thin that the ink was slightly see through on the other side of the paper. It was folded neatly in half so it would fit inside the envelope and the two nations just looked at the folded piece of paper for a minute or two before Italy got to opening it.

At the moment time stood still for him, the only way he knew it was still moving was because of the thumbing in his chest going faster and faster. It was already hard to breathe but this made it impossible, to look at his hand writing again like he had done with all the other letters. He had even memorized half of the ones he had already gotten, read over and over just to hear that voice again even if it was inside his head.

Italy then shut his eyes really tight and opened the letter only to reopen them once the letter was completely unfolded in front of him. Since Germany was sitting in front of him at the moment he couldn't see what was written except for the few letters that where dark enough to show through, but nothing else. So he didn't bother trying to read it at all but rather read Italy's face. He had never seen him so focused in the whole time he had known the nation. Nothing would have interrupted him at this point; at least that was what he had guessed at this point.

It looked like he was about halfway done the letter when his expression changed from the focused one he had worn for about a minute to a teary eyed one. But he kept reading, like Germany thought, nothing was going to stop him now not even a few tears. 'If only he could be like this during training.' Was the thought that ran through Germany's head as Italy kept reading, it was a long letter after all.

Just after thinking this though the letter slipped from Italy's hands and landed on the floor, and he just kept staring at the air as if it was still there. He was deep in thought for once.

Then suddenly right before Germany was about to voice his concern about him Italy jumped up and ran off to the door, forgetting his shoes even leaving Germany alone in the empty and dark house of his. He couldn't help it; he hadn't even noticed himself moving to pick the letter up before he had started reading it.

"My dearest Italy,

I hope you are doing better than I am right now. I hope Mr. Austria isn't working you too hard lately and that you are getting enough to eat. Though you most likely aren't I do hope it's enough until I get home. Then we will share all those treats you said you'd make for me!

I can't wait to see you again Italy! It had been forever since I have heard your voice but it's all I can hear half the time when I can't sleep. Things like, "Holy Rome! You need to get some sleep if you're going to win this for me!" But not much else. You are always in my dreams and in my heart. I am doing this all for you.

Which is why I regret saying this so much, I am on my way home but I lost, I am such a wimp! I am the only one left of my army and I am on my way home, though I don't know how I'll be able to face you or eat those treats.

I left you all alone for so long only to come back a loser, how could you ever forgive me? That is why I am sending this now for you to read at a later date. I am doing this for you I hope you know, but when I return I won't remember you. I am sorry.

The only way I could ever get close to you again is if I forgot what I had done to you so I'll keep this on me until then and try my best to find my way back to you. So in order to make you not worry I have made it so everyone has thought of me dead, please don't tell the others what I have done, please? I'll miss you and I am sorry again.

Love, Holy Roman Empire."


	3. little maid?

Germany looked over the letter a little confused for a minute or two before he was interrupted by a wave of sudden pain rushing threw his head.

_Thumb_

**_Thumb_**

**_THUMB!_**

Was all he could do was try to not scream in pain. But then the pain dulled a little, most likely because he had a high tolerance for the pain already he slowly got used to it, of course that didn't last long. Once he had mainly gotten used to it, the pain was joined by a flash of white light.

At first it was only the one but after a minute and after he had fallen to the kitchen floor his knee's feeling the pain as well now too. 2 more flashes went in front of his eyes then he saw an image both clear and not all at once. It was so weird, so clear and vivid yet blurry and unreal.

Germany could feel the wind brushing his hair in his face and sound smell flowers in the air and yet it was like he wasn't even there. But he saw the picture; he saw the great big wooden door in front of him which he could just barely open since the handle was so high up. This was a little confusing for him since he was usually so tall. When he saw the door and went to reach for the handle he suddenly felt so very tired.

He opened the door, not even caring if this was his place or not he closed his eyes just for a second and took a relaxing breath in. Of course the calm feeling didn't last because when he opened his lightning blue eyes again there are a green dress fluttering about the single room, for some reason Germany's face got red though he knew he hadn't seen the dress or little person before. And yet there was some familiarity from it. When the dress had turned around there was Italy, small and pretty dancing and sweeping around the room his eyes shut with happiness. He found himself muttering his name, no it was the phrase. "I-Italy? What is she doing here?"

All he could think was 'she? Italy is a boy, though here he does look like a girl." Germany heard his voice change a bit. It was much higher than before and he didn't have his accent, the one he had just spoken in was more of maybe a Spanish one? He couldn't figure it out, either way he just found himself starring into the picture no matter how tired he was, of Italy sweeping happily around. It just made him happy to see that smile for some reason. It was as if that was the only thing that kept him from falling to the floor and passing out from being so tired.

His heart raced as he saw the frilly dressed girl turn around to him and started to scream in his even higher voice then before. "AAAAAHHHH~ D-Don't-a h-h-h-h-hurt me please!" Was all he said before running away, leaving Germany all confused to what had just happened, why did he just run off like he was scared again? He didn't have a lot of time to think it over, since as the chibi version of the nation had run off he felt himself waking up. That was the best way to describe it, it felt like he was being pulled away gently from the scene and going somewhere else that is the only way he could say it felt.

After Germany had been pulled back and found himself back into the Italian's kitchen he practically fell the rest of the way to the floor his head spinning. He had no idea what had just happened, sure he didn't remember much about his childhood but he knew that it couldn't have been his own memory.

It couldn't, he knew Italy, he had a different accent, was small and dressed differently. So what had happened? There was so no way he was remembering someone else's memory either. It couldn't happen. He felt himself start to pass out, even with the pain going through his system still but it was beginning to numb again as he was laying down on the lightly tiled floor. The floor was cold since somewhere along the way the window had opened and a bone chilly breeze was coming from outside as it let the soft snowflakes enter the room gracefully.

It would be so nice to sleep right there even with the cold air rushing in, it hurt too much to move, he just wanted to fall asleep right on the spot but then remembered that Italy had ran off. He had tried to get up, every inch of his being aching for some reason now but he kept trying to move. No he wouldn't let that idiot win this time, Germany was going to get him back and run 10 extra laps again, it was the only thing he was good at anyway.

It took a while with his aching and tired body not to mention his head, to get to his feet but he did it clutching to the counter. God his head, he couldn't think straight, he even forgot why he had stood up. The pain just kept rushing threw him in a series of beats.

1, 2, 3,

1-2,3-4,

1, 2, 3,

And it just kept going like that, like an evil monster inside his heads was playing a drum to trigger the pain. It wouldn't numb though he wished it would, all he could do was dig his nails into the granite counters he had stood still trying to wait for the numbness to come though it never did, not for a long time. But after about half an hour though it felt 3 times as long, it was bearable so he started to leave the house, heading straight for his own. Once he left the house it felt like a small pressure in his head had left him, as if the pain just stayed in the house and he left.

As he drove home he replayed the scene in his head, what had happened. It couldn't have been a memory, he might not have remembered a lot about when he was young but he felt like something was out of place there. He always had his accent, right? He always had that thick, somewhat hard to understand german sounding accent of his hadn't he?

He questioned Italy, and that dress he had worn. The feeling he had when he entered that room, his chest tighter than it ever had been before, the way he lost his breath at his name right there. He questioned his hight and outfit, if it was a memory that was lost before or simply something imagined. All he did on the drive how was this; question everything that had happened in the past few hours and nothing else. He hadn't even thought about which way he should take home, if Prussia had burnt the house down, nothing of the sort.

Just of the little Italy and the broom he had sworn he had seen somewhere before.


	4. Grave Sites Are Cold Places

The he second Italy had read the letter to the last word he ran off. It wasn't like he was thinking, not like he'd care about the 10 laps he'd have to do later on for leaving Germany like that. He ran out the door without thinking about putting on shoe's or even a jacket to keep him warm. He had only one thing on his mind as he ran down the road.

He had tears in his hazel eyes though he hadn't opened them once as he continued to run down the long dirt road. Not a thought in his head other than the little blonde boy, that day was all he could think about. Why did it always have to come back to that day?

Always to the field and the soft embrace with the tears and heartache, it was the whole reason neither of the Italy's went to war, always running away. It was the only thing he ever felt good at, he had run away from the little boy, from his feelings too for a long time. He had done it to keep himself from getting hurt; he wasn't strong or big like his grandfather so he was always afraid.

But then Holy Roman Empire did something else. He didn't just stand there as Italy ran away; no he had the sense to chase him. It gave him hope.

Even after all this time that's all it seemed to him, the only thought as he tried to keep his breath.

_What did you do, Holy Rome?_

Even with his eyes all blurry with his tears he just kept running, he knew where his feet where taking him and it made his heart sink. The very thought of the day Prussia and Austria had laid down the little countries body into the grave haunted Italy. He couldn't remember the day well.

No, that was a lie. He remembered every detail about it, every breath that was taken, and every sob that filled the air, even a few sad peeps from Gilbird he had remembered. He however didn't remember seeing the body, not that he wanted to. So what if he was still alive? The thought filled him with hope for only half a second before he let it go and finally opened his eyes, wiping the tears so he could see where he was.

He didn't recognize the place at all. It just looked like the side of a snowy road fields on either side, covered in a white blanket untouched. But it didn't stop him; he was still running to wherever the place was from there. He felt as his chest tightened that he wasn't far from it at all, he could even see the hill with the small cross stone from where he was.

He couldn't stop, so close yet so far. Only few turns he'd be there so he just kept moving his feet only then releasing how much they ached from how fast he was going and the fact he didn't have his shoes. The wind seemed to pick up as if it was trying to make him go the other way, or maybe it was always there but he hadn't noticed until then. His tears slowed down a bit but didn't stop falling down his cheeks which were frozen.

He heard a car rush by as he turned a corner and came face to face with the hill. It had taken an hour or so to get there but he hadn't felt so long to the nation since he was so deep in thought. Without a thought in his head just tears flowing off his face. He started up the hill, trying his hardest to get up there as fast as he could, but each time he tried he ended slipping and falling down; at least the first few times.

The 5th try he just looked up at the top of the hill and started to walk up it almost as if he was in a daze. Like he was playing a scene he had seen somewhere before, playing it perfect to the T. Once he finally got to the top he walked now numbly to the cross and fell to his knees. Tears triggered at the sight of his hat covered in snow of the cross.

The dark colored hat looked so warn out and the fabric was so much thinner than before as Italy took it in his shaking hands. He held it to his chest, never wanted to let go and it was almost as if he was there again. Almost, so close to the real thing.

He laid on his side still hugging the small hat tightly and facing the grave. He curled up around the hat and imagined that he had been then, in his arms like he always wanted. The image made him smile slightly as he felt a wave of calm come over him. Maybe it was the gentle snow or the small object in his arms but whatever it was it made it so he fell asleep on the cold blanket of snow, a single tear falling down his cheek as he did so not even noticing his numb feet that should be aching.

He just drifted off to sleep happy and content, he dreamt of him and Holy Rome in the same field they always where in his dreams.

To the other side world all that echoed through the tree's and on the wind was a single name and a single tear fell from Italy's eyes. "Holy Rome." Maybe it would find someone, and ring in their ears but maybe not.


	5. Italy's Memory

I keep forgetting to add Authors notes to these things…. Any (doctor) who, I hope for those ppl who are still reading this that you don't mind the grammar errors as I am sucky at that sort of thing and don't re-read this cause I am lazy and must write 2000 words a day then move on not editing is involved yay laziness! and WOW! Over 20 followers and 3 reviews that's huge thanks guys!

I suck, but I hope everyone likes the story so far and are keep reading since I have spent a lot of time trying to plan it but this will be the only fanfiction I have ever finished (I only start my friends and add stuff on) so this will be fun! So moving on, let's continue with the story.

He didn't know how long he dreamt, he didn't want to know but he was woken but a sharp pain to his back and someone screaming above him. When he opened his eyes just slightly to see who it was, it was of course Prussia. "You're going to get a cold if you sleep here!" He chuckled, though he wasn't wearing a jacket himself. "You are NOT awesome enough to go around in tiz weather without even a sweater." He said adding on as he held out his hand which was just as white as the snow to help Italy up. "You go ze AWESOME me worried when that weirdo you call a brudr called me to ask if I had you, also called me a 'potato eating pervert' more than once." He just wouldn't stop talking for a few minutes, but the redhead listened and smiled as he stood up.

"Sorry Gilbert." He said once the (awesome) country had given him time to speak, which took a little bit. "Eh, don't vorry to much about it. But let's get you back to your house, you visited him enough today." He did his signature laugh and took Italy's hand, running down the hill where there was a car waited for them.

XXXX

The albino had kept it running, knowing where to look for the smaller country on this day. Once inside his car, which had "AWESOME car" painted in yellow on the outside of it Prussia didn't even bother to buckle up and just started to drive. There was this thing about the albino. For whatever reason, every year that Italy had visited the spot where his first love was put to rest there were always these flowers there, pink like Hungary's are. Someone always beat him there and had even shoveled off the snow around the cross that was sticking out of the ground. How he knew it was Prussia was since there was little bird tracks always around the boot prints he put two and two together.

Until they started to drive back it was silent between the two which was so odd of the albino. But once they headed down the road he gave a sigh and looked over to a different hill where more than just one grave was kept. Another grave was just over the hill pail as the driver's skin, the redhead found himself staring at it as they drove by. There was an eeriness to the car as they drove by. Both knew who was there, but at the same time knew that today was not his day. Today was Holy Rome's day, not Old Fritz's. But because of this they were silent in the car all the way back to the Italian's house. On the way there Italy thought back to the day he was told the love of his life wasn't to return.

XXXX

"Vay Italy!" An Austrian noble called, even though the young boy was in the next room. "Hov are your chores goin'?" he said once the boy in the maid dress was standing in the doorway of the piano room. "Fine Mr. Austria, I am-a almost done." He said a little sadly, than sighed. It had been a while since the blonde had left him, but left him letters every other day most likely because of the mail service was so slow.

"Um, Mr. Austria?" He said after the teenaged country had gone back to his piano thinking that the maid had left already. "D-Did I get any letters today?" He asked hope in his voice. There was a pause. Yes, he remembered that pause since it was the last breath of hope he had for his ever after. "No. Not today, I'm sure he'll send for you tomorrow." Looking back, it must have been so hard on the noble to have known but not be able to tell him. The younger Italy thought this was strange, the way he had said it all. Usually he'd yell at him to get back to work or for even stopping his music, but not that day.

But at the time nothing seemed too odd about it so he went back to his chores, though it was harder without his loved deck sweeper. Even if it was harder he was happy that someone loved him enough to take such a small thing, it was after all just something small compared to his first kiss. Once his cleaning was done he walked up to the girl in a larger version of the dress he wore and tugged on it slightly. Looking up at her he smiled and had the cheeriest tone in his voice though he had a bad feeling in his gut. "Miss. Hungary, Can we bake? I need something for when Holy Rome gets back, vee~!"

She turned to him and had this sad look on her face, no, there was no tears but she never cried. Not to save her life would she cry, but that look. She had the same look the other teenager had, that same one Prussia was wearing just then in the car. "About Holy Rome Italy…" She paused and knelt down next to him. "He won't.. He won't be needing those." She fought to get the words out, it sounded like pain in her voice, but since the chibi was so young he didn't hear it, not at first. "Huh? What do you mean?" He asked with an innocent tone, actually not understanding at all. "But I promised him I'd make them, for when he came back and we could live happily ever after~!" He added on which had to break the girls heart further.

"No Italy. Someth-" Her sentence was caught short by a bullet being sent through the window and Austria running into the room looking panicked. There was blood; that was the one thing he remembered, the panicked look and the blood slowly dripping from his shoulder. As Austria was gripping at his shoulder and Hungary as about to go and get him he muttered something, only to yell it not seconds later. "V-Vun you i-idiots, vun!" It all happened so fast he was sure if he could remember it properly but it seemed he did.

He felt someone picking him up around the waist and suddenly a crashing sound, than he was outside. The seconds that laid between the moments seemed not to exist in his mind, just the flashes of the second then the next. He felt a sharp pain on his face but was more interested by the orange flames that suddenly seemed to eat at the house. He looked over at Hungary for a second but then went back to the flames in shock of what was his life there, gone in minutes. That, that had to be the one time he saw her cry. Austria had gotten out just after them, or so he guessed, he couldn't put it all together anymore so she saw actually crying into his chest at the time. Not that he could hear her sobs, no he had a sudden realization that all of his letters where still inside.

He started to run towards the house and no one stopped him, Austria was in shock of being shot and the house suddenly in flames and Hungary was busy sobbing into his chest how big of an idiot he was for not screaming in pain. So he just kept walking towards the flames, not even being bothered by the heat. He had to get those letters. But then something stopped him. To the day he didn't know what it was, maybe a brezze on the wind getting him out of the shock or maybe a whisper of something left behind. But whatever it was, he stopped and watched the rest of his memories burn down, tears gathering in his eyes. "He's going to be so mad at me for ruining his house." He cried the whole time after the flames where nothing but coals. "What if the letter was in there and I never reply?" He asked Hungary after he had calmed down. Both teenaged countries exchanged a look and hugged him as it was his turn to cry.

"He vont mind Italy. I knov he vont, he loved you."

XXXX

Suddenly he was brought back to the snowy world that was his present. "Hey, Feli!" Someone shouted in his ear bringing him back without finishing his memory. "Vere here," The albino said, putting his awesome car in park. The Italian looked around him, he was home again and Romano was standing there in the doorway glaring at him or maybe at the older country. "Vee~ Thank you Gilbert for the ride! I'll see you later kay~!" He said as he waved goodbye and exited the car.

He walked up to his door, still no shoes nor jacket on his person, but it didn't matter Romano had run out of the door after Prussia had drove out of the drive way and had blanket in hand. "You fucking idiot! You had me worried sick! And why are you wearing shoes!?" He kept yelling but there was happiness to his voice as he wrapped his younger twin in the blanket and walked him inside, not letting go once. They got inside but something was off. Once he got inside they both walked to the kitchen and something was just off. He suddenly remembered the letter. God, why did there have to be that letter? It was just where he had dropped it before but he knew that someone else had read it, he just knew it.

"Hey Roma, can I ask you something?' He said, not a trace of happiness in his voice. This scarred Romano a little but he turned to him with a scowl like usual. "As long as it isn't stupid, like usual." The younger one shook his head and opened his mouth. "Do you remember Holy Rome? I mean, do you remember what happened to him?" Romano looked away and faced the window that stood over their sink.

"Of course, he died…" He said but then there was a second, it sounded like he was chocking. It sounded like there was something else. "But not physically. He lost his memories, it says so in the-" Italy had said but was cut off. "He died got it! You should let him go! He was just another fucking potato eating bastard!" The elder and southern part of the nation yelled, still not facing him at all. "He forgot you and left you, that's worse than dying." He said, no anger was found in his voice, not anymore. "He looks at you every day and doesn't remember a thing!" No, it was pure sadness in his brother's voice; you could hear the tears gathering. Italy got out of his seat and went to hug him, and the shocking part was he hugged back. But that wasn't what shocked him most, as they were hugging something popped into the younger twins head.

"How long have you known. Lovino?"

Anyone else feel a big brother conspiracy coming on?

Comment, review. Hope you enjoyed! Bye


	6. Goodbyes aren't forever

A/N: Hola all! I am happy to say that the last chapter was fairly easy to understand unlike this one so I hope you ARE READY! Also, thanks to my friends whom you may rage out at, I will not be adding onto the Italy one but going back to Germany, -insert evil laugh here-.

Anyway I am posting this a day earily cause I like to do so on random nights but thanks for sticking woth me this far, as I know this is one of the most over used plots for hetalia! but back to reading the story hope you like it!  
_

The blonde stumbled into the house and went to get some headache medication the second he could get into the house. He thought that the pain had been gone since it was dulled while he was driving, but he had the windows down and was almost in a dream state as he was driving, just rethinking the memory he still wasn't sure if it was his own. He had done all this and was no laying down just enjoying a book and the silence, not that they lasted too long.

XXXX

Once an hour had gone by, he was a little worried, where was his brother? Usually he'd be at him to go out and play with him, which was why he wondered why him and Italy didn't get along better than they did. But after a few thoughts he shrugged it off and went back to his book. Another hour passed and there he was, the pail albino bursting through the door like he was top of the world like he thought he was. "Hey West, come on. There are better things to do then just reading!" He said tugging on the German's shirt now, the bird chirping and trying to help by tugging as well. "I am vine, thanks. I've got a headache from something zo if you could be quieter zen usual it be appreciated." He sighed putting down the book and looking at his older brother, the look of pain still in his blue eyes. Prussia saw this immediately and decided to see what it was about in his own way, by making him feel guilty so he'd shout and tell him what happened. Most of the time when he did this, it got it out of the stubborn nation, it was the main reason he was always so annoying to him after all. He worried a lot for his younger brother.

"Oh vell, I guess I'll just tell you about Italy later." He sighed walking out of the room knowing that it would get on his brothers nerve and he'd come running in. And just as the Prussian thought he came running to him, but he still looked like he was in a bit of pain as he walked into the kitchen where the white haired country was already starting to peel some potato's. "Vat happened to Feli? He ran out earlier, do zou knov vat happened?" He asked, concerned to the bone for his friend though he didn't know why he was asking his brother. It just seemed like he knew something, it was just in the way he smiled.

"Oh I just found him sleeping in the zown, at a grave." He shrugged. "I swear he'll get a cold if he keeps it up, even if he was there for him." He sighed, finishing off the last potato and started to wash them off again. Panic filled Germany's eye's at the words his brother was saying to him. The answer just lead to more questions for him, who was Italy visiting, why did he run out at the letter?

That was right, the letter. It was the same one that gave him that headache. The one that held someone else's memories.

Somewhere along the way as he was deep in thought wondering if it was connected he realised that he was helping his brother making their snack, just mashes potato's as usual. "Vey, Gilbert?" He asked breaking the silence that had lasted who knows how long. "Ja?" He said back, focused on the now boiling vegetables. "I still don't remember much about ven I vas young, but I don't zink I ever met Italia before vorld var vne, virght?" At the words Prussia froze, had his little brother start to remember?

"Vat makes you think you have huh? I mean Ze AWESOME me had met him before that, but for… Ozer reasons, do you think you have?" He asked, still adding on more questions than answers to the German's list he was forming in his mind, he'd probably write it down later. "I… I don't know…" Was all he said with his German accent not even really there anymore. At this Prussia hesitated but moved away from his stove and went to a broom closet. He rummaged in there for a bit before he came out with something that looked so familiar it hurt the German not to know what it was.

A deck broom? Why was this bothering him so much? Yes, it was a deck broom, nothing special but there was this gleam of hope or light in Gilbert's eyes when he was holding it and there was still a little ribbon with a tomato on it.

Bam!

Hadn't he had enough of this pain for one day? The world didn't seem to think that, 2 more waves of pain rushed threw him as he felt himself fall to the ground once again but this time Gilbert had caught him so his knee's didn't sting. Two flashes and he found himself somewhere else.

But this time was different. There was so scent of flowers or tired legs this time, the weather seemed perfect like before but something was off. He was holding a painting of a little maid as he heard a voice, a lot like his own accent come from behind as he studied the picture and found himself hugging it. "It that the picture you have of your girlfriend, er, boyfriend. Chibithing?" It laughed and he felt himself turn around to see everyone dressed in black and loading supplies, like they were going off somewhere.

Time seemed to skip after that, just a little bit too where he was standing in front of the maid once more, tears filling his blue eyes. _Vhy am I about to cry?_ He thought to himself but he couldn't help but blink them behind. "I vont be bothering you anymore, I am zorry Italia." He chocked out the words he didn't know what he was saying. But this time, he figured he might as well try to understand it this time, rather than fight the whole thing. He didn't hear what the maid said as she/he came closer to him but he took the broom in hand, starring at it for a minute or two. It was like the world was suddenly on mute to him but everything else was fine. He just kept looking at the broom, he didn't even know why but he was smiling so happily at the very sight of the deck sweeper. But it made his heart flutter and his face feel like it was on fire, just like before. What was this?

His chest hurt but it wasn't physical at all, it was so new to him but he knew what it was, yeah it had to be that. "Vat do they do in your country, to show love?" The maid seemed confussed, but more like he was in deep thought. "Kiss, I think…" he said his face looking pinker then a second ago. Before he knew what he was doing Germany was leaning in to the maid with a frilly green dress, him still holding onto the broom as if his life depended on it. Their lips brushed ageist each other and his heart skipped a beat. He could feel the other nations tears fall as they both leaned in a little closer for their lips to fully touch, soft and innocent. His own eye's closed again and he felt sorrow and over enjoyment at the same time.

When the blonde opened his eyes again, he was laying on the couch, Prussia looking at him with worry. God, those red eyes of his always scared him when they were starring right at his icy ones, the blood color just scared in for a second. He blinked a few times, shutting them hard and then opening them again to make sure he wasn't just dreaming. Then a sudden wave of pain filled his head again and he knew to be awake. "God, my head." He muttered gripping at it, at least this time he was in his own head.

The second he opened his eyes Prussia jumped to his feet and graved some headache medication and shoved in in his brothers face; making him take it only hoping he'd be alright. "Mein gait, you scared me there, West!" He took a sigh of relief when Germany sat up slowly to take the medication. "What do you remember?" He asked after a few minutes of quiet between the two German speaking countries.

Germany shook his head, looking straight face. "Nothing, I fell right?" He looked his brother in the eyes trying to make him feel better, why would having him worry about something he couldn't explain help?

A/N: And that is it for now, I know I suck at endings, no imagine how I'll end this whole thing? Moving on, hope you enjoyed this once again and continue to read bye~


	7. Chapter 7

Hey! For all of you who are still reading this, you guys are freaking awesome!Thanks for all the fav's and follows every time a see a new one it's just awesome! But onto the story now, since I made it end the way I did cause I can't write cliff hangers But you guys seem to alright with this fact so moving on!  
_

The blonde's head was still pounding, it had been a few hours since he had seen the memory but it wasn't what was haunting him at the moment, not the dreaminess yet familiarity it brought nor the peaceful state he always seemed to be during the dream like flashbacks. No, his mind was more on the nation who had run out earlier, tears in his hazel eyes as he did so. The guilt was overwhelming to him, why hadn't he run after Italy?

His head wouldn't let him think of anything else as it pounded, but only until a familiar loud sound rushed into the room making him cringe in slight pain. Prussia had ran in chuckling and yelling "Ze AWESOME ME it here!" jumping on top of a chair that Germany always left empty. This was because; the albino would always jump onto that chair and strike a pose, proclaiming his awesomeness to everyone there, which was almost always only Germany.

The blonde in the room clenched his jaw at the sudden pain that ran down his spine from the noise but he still rolled his eyes and getting back to work. "Vat do you vont Gilbert?" He said after a few minutes. Prussia had sat down on the chair and just smiled at his younger brother, it was a little uneasy how quiet he was being at it, it wasn't like him to be like that. Even when Germany was sick, he didn't see him look that happy but concerned at once. The older nation jumped a bit in his seat as if he was set out of a daze, it would surprise anyone if he had been Prussia wasn't known for his long attention span.

"Oh, I got you some more medication like an AWESOME big brother would." He said with only a slight smile and handed Germany the glass of water which seemed to come out of nowhere and the 2 pills that where a slight blue color. After they were handed, he sat back down for a moment trying to read his brother and see what was wrong with him, of course Germany seemed to be doing the same thing so it didn't work out that well. "Vell, I got zome AWESOME stuff to do zo I'll be downstairs if ya need anyzing." He said with a slight chuckle in his voice but no laugh at all as he exited the room only to let out a sigh just outside the door once he knew that Germany had gone back to work and wouldn't hear it.

He walked down the hall deep in thought not even noticing where he was going. He was he always the strong one? It sucked and he was supposed to be awesome not like this, being sad wasn't awesome at all. No matter how much he wanted to let the thought go, Prussia was unable to do so and let a single tear escape but then put his cheery and evil smirk back on his face. If he wasn't truly awesome he'd at least make everyone else think so. It was the former knight's code after all! He continued to walk, but now he was outside and the snow was falling slightly, just a few snowflakes falling here and there in the chilled air not that he noticed until he saw that hill.

That hill was where the only boss he ever liked, dare he say be might have even loved Old Fritz not that he'd tell anyone that. The guy was his father in his mind but now he was dead and everyone else got their father still like Japan and America or Canada. They got to see them every day, or at least they made it seem like it was every day. But his died a long time ago and it hurt to look at the hill. Suddenly all the worries about being awesome had left him and he was trying his best not to cry at the very sight of the snow covered hill. He knew Italy had wondered earlier if he had felt the same pain as him, but in truth he didn't know if Italy's pain was worse.

Sure, it took all his strength to get out of bed knowing that he wasn't going to be there in the study that now belonged to his little brother and yeah it was hard for him on the day that marked his death but then Italy must have gone through worse. Unlike Old Fritz, Italy had held a bloodied body of the boy who he loved, not a cold and smiling body of his father but the little boy who fought for him. He cried and couldn't even look at his own cross for a bit, he was so young when it happened. Would Italy ever forgive Prussia for what he had done, for what he hadn't told Italy or would he be alright with it since it would have hurt more to have known?

He was still trying not to cry at the sight of snow, some memories of crimson red snow from many years before creeping into his mind as he felt a tap on his shoulder. When he turned just slightly he saw his brother, a concerned but pained look on his face. The medication must have not kicked in yet that's all, he tried to keep himself from worrying too much about it. "Zou alvight?" The blonde said gazing slightly at the hill himself knowing what pain was there. Prussia couldn't even speak now, if he opened his mouth he knew he would have let out a slight sob so he just nodded. He could tell by the way the German behind him let out a slight huff he wasn't very convincing, then when he heard some shuffling around he thought that he would be left alone but he was wrong. Germany had taken off his jacket and put it on his brother's head, knowing how easily that he'd get sick and just stood beside him in silence for a few minutes before saying. "You still got me, zo ve'll visit him tomorrov if you vont." He then cleared his throat not knowing if that was the right thing to say, there wasn't a manual for these things so he never really knew how to know if he had done the right thing. Prussia let out a slight chuckle and wrapped his arm around his brother's neck despite him being taller, and nodded. "Yeah, he'd like zat. Vho vouldn't like ze awesome me and his awesome little bro visiting zem?" He laughed to himself and he felt better even if it was only by a bit.

Hey, so there is the end of that chapter! I hope you guys don't mind my version of Prussia, to me he Is this really sad and caring but won't show just how much is does care. I hope you guys liked it, if you want to add anything to the character's like Romano's mind set or how you think the story should end go and send me a message! I want this so you guys will continue to read cause I don't know how many chapters I want to make for this but I wont make it like "Bottom's up" (best Spamano ever!) and make it 80 chapters cause that would be a lot of GerIta writing. Anyway back to topic I will stop bothering you and stop ranting.  
Bye~!


	8. big brothers lie too

A/N: Hello once again my reader, as you cansee this is a day early. I can't believe how many views I have for this! (Edit number by week) that is a lot, thanks so much guys! Sorry if my story doesn't make sense in order for me to have it up once a week I have to write it several weeks ahead of time so yeah... Anyway here is the return of Romano and Italy, and Romano has to explain what happened but what he know of what happened. That comes in later. References to PruCan, Spamano, PanAus, France and Joanne of arch. Hope you guys have fun reading this!

Romano stood there hugging his brother in disbelief for a few minutes before he asked the question again, sounding a little more angry than upset. "How long have you known, Lovi?" A few more heart beats went by before Romano let go of his brother to look him in the eyes when he was told. The potato pervert would understand right? He was old enough to understand, hopefully. He scowled as he usually did but he didn't dare look his northern half in the eyes. There were tears in his own eyes, how come this had happened to his little brother?

"I've known f-f-for a while now..." He managed to say, wondering how he was going to put how he knew, but his brother didn't want to know that yet he was still questioning on how long this was kept from him. "How long is a while?" He said, his voice a little upset but not shaky like his brother's. Romano was quite for a minute but then muttered something that he had to repeat. He looked ever so angry, tears falling down his tanned cheeks and he clenched his fists.

"That fucking Potato pervert said we shouldn't say anything 'cause it only hurt more!" He wanted to hit something but the angry was directed toward Italy but rather himself as it usually was. "It would have fucking hurt more than it already does. All because of that fucking German who can't remember anything! He should just go off and die for hurting you the way he did!" He continued not to answer the original question but spill every other detail.

Italy could feel everything sink in; the reason why Romano and Prussia were alright with being in the same room as each other was because of that secret. That letter that found its way to him should have never been read. He felt his heart break as words continued to spill from the angry Romano in front of him and for once he was angry himself. As everything seemed clearer to him, he felt so bad. He had come back to him, even if he didn't remember his Holy Roman Empire had come back to him. He kept his promise but everyone kept it from Italy. Prussia and his own brother had this huge thing that would have made it easier get out of his bed each morning, to wear his smile like he had before he knew. It would have been easier for him to know that he wasn't alone after all. Romano had Spain, Prussia had Canada, and he had a memory. Nothing more than a childhood fantasy.

He wasn't even listening to Romano any more, it was just background noise compared to his inner thoughts. Nothing more than a sad sound to drown out to him at the moment, flashes of his happy moments, things that made him happy when he was little and all the little things that almost made a friend of his almost smile.

Germany.

Holy Roman Empire.

That was when it truly clicked for him, he hadn't even noticed before. That was how Prussia knew, that was what Romano had meant by 'he sees you every day but doesn't bother to remember you' everything was just so much clearer to him at that moment. He had always wondered about his icy blue eyes and his scowl, but that almost smile that only a few people got to see. It was a nice reminder of what could have been but now, now it was real not something he had made up. It wasn't just a fairy tale he told himself had happened, it was a real thing. Italy started to come back to reality but he was standing in front of the door on the other side of the house when he did.

He felt Romano tugging on his sleeve and he could he the soft sound of crying behind him where his older brother was. "Fatello, don't!" He sobbed everything he could to make his other half stay. "If he does remember, it'll do a lot worse than kill him. He already has Grandpa's scares what if he remembered how they got there?!" Italy jerked himself away from Romano as the flash back to his childhood. _"I'm sorry Holy Roman but I can't join you! You'd get hurt like grandpa, I-I can't have you hurt!"_

He guessed the blonde hadn't listened, but Germany was a man of his word as well, if he had remembered his vow he would have kept it. Italy knew it! This didn't stop Italy from stepping outside their house though and Romano was clinging to him and begging him not to do anything. "Y-You can't run after him, he wouldn't want that. I-Isn't that was you fucking told me when Antonio was gone?!" His pleads got to him after a few minutes, and he gave up turned around hand Italy hugged his brother who was still scowling despite both of their tears.

It was all clicking in Italy's mind and it hurt every bit of him hurt. His chest and his head, even his soul ached at the thought of hope for someone he loved might come back to him. It was all too much for the date. All those unnecessary tears and prayers that seemed ever so stupid to him now but it didn't help the pain that rushed threw him as he clung to his brother who was sobbing just as much as he was as they still stood in the doorway. After a few more minutes they calmed down and Romano went to the kitchen to make their dinner though it was a little late for it, he had said nothing and even smiled a bit when Italy had asked him for just that. Nothing more than a hot cup of coffee and some pasta.

_"How much stronger you are then I am, Feli." _Was all the older Italian said as he poured the hot water into a mug, thinking back to what it was like for himself during the time Spain was gone and how much he cried for him to be alright. Italy had been threw the very same thing even around the same age, but his love didn't return with a smile and a basket of tomato's in hand. He didn't get to cry tears of joy for his soul-mate but rather tears that mourned a faked death.

For countries it is a difficult task to find someone who they can love and are loved back, it takes a long time to be able to see that light in people after what they got threw over the many years. But when that nation's love, they one they _breathe_ for dies it is unbearable. There is nothing that can be put into words for how France felt as those flames grew and no one came to help, how Gilbert felt waiting outside the bedroom of the dyeing old fritz the only boss he ever liked. But they were all used to the blood, and had seen many people die in front of their eyes in war before they went through that, not Italy. He hadn't seen so much war when he went through what he did, the first time he saw the battle field with his own eyes was when he was dragging the body of the dyeing Holy Roman Empire. He had to get a new dress from all the blood, too much to wash out. Italy would remember every detail, from the smile of rotting and burning flesh to the heat of fire and screams of mercy echoing through the air. There is nothing that you would do to even try to understand that pain, he wasn't even that old. He hadn't known about sex, about the world other than trade, not even the true beauty that laid in the world when he had seen this. Romano knew about it, he had because a fair amount of it himself but thought it was something to do to make people listen. Of course this happened much later than the Holy Roman Empire's war so Italy had seen it much sooner.

Romano handed his brother the mug, who was curled up on the couch watching a crime drama. "Hey, mind moving over a bit?" Romano said, not a trace of the usual growl in his voice. No, now there was almost a cherry sound to his voice that he didn't let most people know he had, a lot like his smile. Italy didn't speak, just a nod and he moved over a little just enough for Romano to sit down. The younger brother was hugging the pillow that was on the couch, not taking his eyes off the screen for a second as he moved. This was followed by a silence after Italy had taken the cup, took a sip and smiled to himself, he let out a "Ve~" as a sad sigh but nothing else was said the rest of the show.

After they ate in front of the TV and the show was over, Italy looked over a Romano tears gathering in his eyes as he was still hugging the poor pillow which was taking all of his frustration. "Lovino." He said that pitiful and sad tone in his voice as it always was when he asked for something. "C-Can we visit Germany tomorrow? I won't say anything I just want to see him." There was a pause as Romano seemed to be taking in the information. "So c-can I? Ve~?" He said, giving his brother puppy dog look to guilt him into going over there, he did hate it there.

"Fine!" Romano said giving in with a sigh, there was no stopping him anyway. If Italy wanted to go, he'd go it was just better if they went together. "But, I won't go anywhere near their kitchen, filled with potato germs." He added on, almost gagging at the thought of the vegetable. Italy smiled again, something he hadn't done the whole night really and hugged his brother around his waist as he usually did. Something about going to see the blonde made him feel like himself again, maybe it was the new hope he held in his heart that one day he might remember.

But then again, would he really want to do that?

A/N: Hey guys! So this chapter is done and finished. I hope it was alright with the reveal of what was going on although I didn't keep it much of it a secret. Gosh I suck at doing that, even ask any one of my friends! Anyway, so the next chapter will have both Italy and Germany in the same chapter unlike they last 4 or so chapters so that'll be nice right? So I'll start working on that right now. I love you guys who are still reading this cause, who doesn't like being noticed right? I don't feel like Canada here!(how funny that is cause I am Canadian.) So thanks once more and I'll let you guys go onto the next chapter. Again if you guys have any requests for stuff go ahead and send me a message no one really talks to me on here anyway Don't forget to tell me what you like, dislike, want to change or add to the story kay?


	9. To Germany

A/N: Hola again guys! It's always nice to meet/talk to you guys so don't be afraid to talk to me key? Yes I will continue to say this every time, but really you might get something or a character added to the story if you do so send me messages! That all for now, this Chapter might suck (not in a good way, (yet?)) due to the fact that I am listening to the sad piano music and just finished planning a panel but I must write this down now before I pass out. I do write a chapter a day so I can keep up with publishing them once a week, if I keep this up I might post it more than once a week, maybe. I do need inspiration to do this however so fan-stuff would be awesome (never letting this go~) On to the story now!

XXX

The next day Romano and Italy got up fairly early after they woke up on the couch. Yes, they had fallen asleep watching TV like the unhealthy people they are. When they woke up Italy called Germany's house and to his surprise it was Prussia who answered not Germany. He told him they were headed over and should be there by lunch but not to make anything since they wouldn't eat it. "Zat hurt Ita-cakes." Prussia said and the sound of him grapping at his chest was heard over the phone. They got their stuff together and packed a lunch as well as made some breakfast for themselves on the road then got their coats to leave.

Italy was ever so hyper that morning, he almost forgot to be upset at Romano for what he had done, but that is Italy for you very forgiving. They left the house in under an hour and where on the road pretty quick though it was a bit of a drive to Germanys house after all. The brothers had a while to talk while in the car, like they usually would but not today Italy was just humming to himself, a song he made up himself or one he had heard from Austria. It was a much longer ride the usual when Romano would complain and Italy would laugh add make him feel better about everything it was just how they got close to each other. But not today, there was no smiles exchanged or crush talk, no teasing about how loud he and Spain where when they "made love" or anything, just humming. Italy may have been jumping in his seat the whole time but didn't say a word edge wise to his brother. XXXXX

At Germany's and Prussia's house, Prussia was just on his laptop and hadn't even told his brother about the twins coming over. It didn't seem to important and thought he'd like the surpise when they were only minutes away. The house was clean enough, for his standers and Germany was making lunch for the two, Italy had said they'd bring their own so that wasn't a problem right? After a few hours after Italy had called Prussia was at his computer and halliard for Germany. "Hey west!" He yelled, not even talking his eyes of the screen of his blog. "Both Italy and Romano are coming over this afternoon, should be here in half an hour or so. I think." He said and that was followed by what sounded was a plate dropping, not shattering but it sounded as if it was dropped. He figured he was wrong, and that it was a bigger deal to him then it was to the albino. The sound made him jump and look away from his laptop, along with his awesome blog. "You alvight in there West?" He called getting up from his spot on the couch and walked into the kitchen he saw Germany juts staring out into the distance this time.

He wasn't having a memory or anything but it was suddenly harder to breath. But he snapped out of his pretty quickly when Prussia entered the room. "The house izn't even clean, how am I going to make lunch for zem?" He seemed to have gone into a panic, but his brother just put his hand on Germany's should and sighed with a smile but only a bit of one. "Zey said, they'd bring their ovn lunch zince they don't like vust." This seemed to calm him down a bit since he took a deep breath and remembered that he needed to say he was sorry to Italy, at least it was better then over the phone He could see how he felt and most likely would get a hug from the Italian and he would only let go to eat.

They had enough time to eat themselves and clean the mess Prussia made in their living room, he was always messy and that didn't stop once he lived with Germany. It took some work on the albino's part but they got it sparkling clean before they got to the house. They sat down for a second to eat when the door bell rang, and both brother jumped forgetting the reason why they where doing this. Prussia opened the door but Germany didn't trust his brother to be alone with the other two so he stood by the door but not behind him so neither of the other nations saw him, at least that was the guess as to what happened next.

XXXXX

They rang the bell and not a minute later the door swung open, the second Italy saw the white hair on Prussia's head he clenched his fists and punched upwards. It was a shock to everyone in the doorway who saw this, not just because of the sudden punch but the amount of strength that went into it. Prussia was fairly strong, stronger then both the Italy's combined or so everyone would have thought. In truth they were pretty strong when it came to strength they just chose not to show it. Prussia was sent to the ground the second Italy fist came into contact with his face.

"Ve~ hello Gilbert!~" he said with a singsong voice as in his other hand he was holding his own lunch box. He took a step in, that smile he always wore on his face as he looked down on the former country, only than noticed Germany standing in the doorway too, seeing everything. Romano was still in shock and hadn't expecting that from his brother, but then again it was HIS brother. "Oh, hey Luddy! Missed you, it's been a while hasn't it?" He said as if that day hadn't happened though it was forever going to be in his mind. Everyone else seemed to be frozen at the sight of Italy taking down Prussia, not that Romano hadn't seen it before but it still shocked him every time. "Vay Feli. I uh…" There was a pause as Germany helped up his brother who seemed to be on the edge of tears to the sudden pain to his jaw. "I guess I missed you too… Um may I talk to you in za other room vor a minute?" He asked looking him in the eyes only for the last word said; Italy nodded and skipped following the taller man as Romano yelled this about being left alone with the potato bastard.

"What is it Luddy?" He said, almost with a laugh in his voice at the sight outside where he could see the still snow covered hills. "Um." The voice Germany spoke in seemed so unsure, and full of guilt. "I-I am zorry. About vat happened yesterday, I should have gone after you." Italy looked at the taller country remembering voices from their past.

_'Why is it you run when I chase you, but you chase me when I run it makes no sense!'_

He shook out of the daze when he saw Germany looking at his a little scared, maybe it was what happened at the door or maybe it was because he felt that guilty about it. But he didn't seem to remember the note so it was fine. "Na, I'm fine so it's fine! Ve~ I should go save Lovino before he kills Gilbert." He said with a laugh, starting to walk out of the kitchen. "I already called that." He said just under his breath, not sure if he was heard or not he kept smiling.

A/N:So that's the end of this chapter, I hope it was a good one. I know you guys didn't think Italy punch Prussia and have him almost whimpering on the floor huh? Hahaha! I am so very mean to my characters, also I have this head cannon, and I guess it is real since of season 5 that Italy and Romano are very good at torture and are very strong due to their mafia.

You guys do know that in Italy there was this guy who was forced to watch his family killed in front of him then was tired to horses and dragged through the streets for three days straight. This was the government not the mafia, so what would they do to someone huh? So who ever said Italy is pure and innocent is not completely right there.

Anyway, I'll go and start the next chapter now; hopefully it'll be more fulfilling than this one, not much happened after all. Oh, and if you could leave a message and say whether you want Germany to go crazy or to be nicer to everyone after he remembers that be great!

Bye once again


	10. Little brother's get left out

A/N:Hey I am ever so happy that I got this far, I mean look chapter 10! I think I'll be ending it soon but I am not sure if in like 3 chapters or like 6. I guess it depends on you guys huh? Anyway let's get to the story before I bore you to death and can't finish the story cause that suck right? KK likes get to work then!

After Italy talked with Germany he walked back to the door and smiled towards both Romano and Prussia. Prussia was still rubbing the spot he was hit at, and looked at the shorter nation in disbelief. "Ita-cakes!" he whined and took a few steps towards him. "What was zat vor?" There was this sad and hurt look in his eyes as he was whining, hoping his jaw wasn't broken. That would be something he'd get laughed at about, well maybe not by the nations who knew what he was like when he was upset, truly upset but most countries would just laugh.

Italy didn't answer really, he hung his head lower than usual but then looked him in the eyes which the suddenness of that scared Prussia. "I'm sorry Gilbert." He said though he didn't mean it, but he'd be asked questions by Germany if he didn't say sorry for it, it would have been too much out of character of him to not. Italy then took a few more steps towards Prussia and got on his tippy toes so he could kiss the hurt jaw better. "There, all better!" He said afterwards, not giving the kiss much thought. Romano hit him upset the head after the kiss just as Germany walked in the room, "Great now we have to wash the potato germs off of you." He sighed dragging his brother to the nearest bathroom.

As Germany walked into the room, he saw Italy kiss his brother on the cheek and be dragged off to somewhere else by his own brother. It made his chest hurt a bit at the scene, Prussia's face was redder then the fruit both Italians seemed to love now, totally forgetting he ever had any pain. Prussia never had a thing for Italy, no never not like that. Sure he was cute and such but not what the albino would want, he also would have felt even worse if that had been the case. But it wasn't he just thought it was cute when someone that had such a cute exterior kissed him, anyone would have blushed.

Germany was just confused about everything today, Italy had punched him then gave him a kiss? And that was the part that hurt in his chest a little, he kissed Prussia. For a reason he couldn't understand why but it hurt to even think about it. It hadn't been the first time he had seen Italy kiss someone, much less Prussia but this time it felt different. What was different this time? He had walked up to his brother who seemed to have come out of his daze about what had happened and just stared down the hall that Romano had dragged Italy down.

"Vell, zis is going to be an interzeting day zen." Prussia chuckled a bit to himself, not noticing Germany's pain as he stood next to him. "Hey West? You wanna make him angry so you can get vne too?" He said smirking at the taller yet younger nation, who was as usual scowling but a small amount of blush came across Germany's face at the thought. "Don't be stupid." He said only then taking his eyes off the hallway and rolled his blue eyes facing his brother. "I vouldn't vont for zat to happen." He continued than cleared his throat as he heard the others walking back from the bathroom. It looked as if Romano was giving Italy a lecture, though he didn't really have a good reason to do so.

"We are not staying here that fucking long!" Was all the german's heard as the Italians had walked down the hallway, Italy hanging off of Romano as he usually did when he was asking for something, he did it only to the nations in the house oddly enough though. He had never done it to France or Spain, Austria or Hungary. Never them, just the brothers and his own, it made Romano think, it had all started it them as well.

As they got closer, Prussia and Germany was able to hear what was being asked of him. "But Lovino~ we came all this way, can't we just stay to night and home in the morning?" He whined as his clung to Romano's waist as he tried to walk down the hall but due to Italy's extra weight he limped a bit as he drug his brother down the what seemed the ever-lasting hallway. Prussia was just laughing at this, of course. Pointing at how hard it was for Romano to walk, saying things like "Thought you guys were equally strong, wrong huh?" This pissing him off even more, "Maybe I should punch you!" He yelled from a few feet away, prying Italy off of himself. "We are NOT staying the night; it would mean we'd have to eat _GERMAN_ food." He shuttered a bit at the very thought, why did it have to be so bland? Not as bad as England's, but it was up there. Italy shivered a little to, but really didn't feel like spending another 4 hours in the car. "But Lovino~! I'll make dinner, please? The car trip is sooooo~ boring!" He said pouting in his brother's face; making him give in. With a reluctant sigh, Romano agreed but glared at the other nations who were just looking at them, he was hoping that they'd say no to Italy's request but from their expressions he knew that they'd be staying the night. Prussia's grin had grown at the thought of them staying a little more; maybe he'd get to know why Italy had hurt him, and what was going on between everyone in the house.

There was this feeling to it; that everyone had chosen to ignore, hoping the others didn't noticing it too. It just made everything feel awkward where ever they went in the house. It was already starting to get dark, not that odd for winter the sun was setting about 6 in the afternoon around this time of year after all. Just as promised, Italy was working on dinner made from ingredients that Italy had somehow brought along with Romano noticing, most likely having this planned since last night, Romano had to give him some probs for going through with this plan, he was smarter then he let on. But as he was making dinner, Italy didn't notice what was going on in the dining room where he had told everyone to wait. Romano was facing the German's not wanting to take his eyes off of them just in case. As they sat there silence, Prussia let out a sad sounding sigh, letting his smirk slip. This scared Germany a bit, he was letting his guard down around Romano what the hell?

"What happened to Feli-chan? He's so sad." He asked, the concern he had shared with the cook's brother unable to hide in his voice. Romano nodded, having his arms crossed and pressed to his chest. The two had pretty much forgotten that Germany was there and that they should be hating each other a lot more, but they were worried as Germany was a little too, they could sense there was something off by the way he hadn't even gotten close to Romano since he had asked to stay, or say anything about his reasoning to punching the other ender brother. "He found out." Was all Romano said after another long pause between him nodded, just then remembering who else was in the room, he couldn't know yet. It was to much work to keep from Italy knowing, now Germany too.

Prussia's jaw dropped at Romano's words. It had explained the punch, why he wasn't really talking to Romano. It was their punishment. "Zo, vat he's just gonna hate us? I'm too awesome to hate though!" He said, patting a hand on his own chest. Romano rolled his eyes, as did Germany at the comment; he used the word to much. They both knew that he had only said it to make himself feel better but it still was used to much. Germany wanted to say something, ask what they were talking about but before he could voice it Italy walked in the room with 4 plates balanced on his arms and hands. He walked in with a cheery smile as he always did; a smile Germany recently knew to not always be true. Prussia took his plate once it was set down in front of him and let out a breath he didn't know to be holding in, letting his smirk come across his face again as if it had never left. Romano's scowl returned as well, leaving Germany to wonder, how often did they let their true expressions show. They ate dinner, almost quietly and it didn't seem to bother Italy. Maybe he had gotten used to quite. That was what everyone else had thought, but what was going through his mind was radically different then enjoying the mood.

Ever since the other day, he had everything thrown at him all at once; he had started to wonder what else was being kept. How long had he gone without his brother telling him the truth, did he even really want what was best for him or what was easiest to believe? He tried his best to keep the smile on his face, but with every growing hours since that moment he knew that there was a chance, he had begun to feel numb. He had got threw a similar feeling when he was younger and Austria had to move since his house was burnt down, or maybe it was when he waited outside the hospital after the battle that he had thought killed Holy Roman Empire. But back then, he had trusted other, he had trusted Austria and Hungary and Prussia, all the other older countries around him. But who could he trust now? He doubted he could even trust his own memories anymore.

After everyone was done, Italy shot of from the table, the cheeriness in his voice returning. "Ve~ I'll get that, Luddy would you help me with dishes? I still don't know where they go." He laughed a bit, not even looking at the others no one other than Germany himself, even though it was Prussia's plate he was taking at the time. It would hurt to look away then, but he did it anyway once Germany had nodded with agreement though it looked like he didn't want to do it much. He seemed to have a sudden burst of joy at this, jumping up and down in place for a moment before he took his brother's plate and his own. Quicker than Germany had guessed he would have done, Italy had taken his hand and started dragging him towards the kitchen, somehow managing to do so while almost skipping and holding 6 plates in one hand.

Once in the kitchen he got straight to work, running hot water for the plates and cutlery. But before he could get to the pots or start to wash anything he felt something on his shoulders. It made him unable to move forward or to the side, Germany was standing not a foot behind him and didn't want to take the chance of bumping into him like that so he was stuck. Germany had placed his strong hands just on Italy's shoulders holding him there, there was something he wasn't being told and it upset him. It felt as if everyone around him was telling something about him; or maybe Italy and didn't dare mention it in front of him. But that wasn't his reasoning for this, no this was for Italy.

Something was off about him the whole afternoon; he hadn't clung to anyone really the whole day, not asked for pasta or to play a game of any sort. It was to out of character for him, but what worried Germany the most was his smile. It looked cheerful, happy as it could be but looked slightly forced. They stood there in silence for a few minutes Germany not taking his eyes off the younger man he was holding, wanting to know what to do, there wasn't a manual for this sort of thing and he didn't know what to do. After a few minutes had past, the blonde felt shaking in his hands and let go immediately, thinking that his grip was too much and he had hurt him but that wasn't the case. The second Germany had let go, Italy had turned around so they were facing each other and hugged Germany tightly, barring his face in Germany's army clothes. They smelt heavily of sweat and beer, as he always did but Italy didn't mind.

He just cried silently for a minute or so before he made himself pull away and wipe he tears. "S-Sorry…" He said, not daring to look Germany in the eyes he knew to be those icy ones. And in a split second his jumped up a little and got a determined look on his face rolling up his sleeves. "O-K! Let's get to work!" he said, forgetting, or trying to forget the last tear that was still left in his eye. But Germany was still too worried and was scanning Italy's face when he saw the tear and took a step closer, leaning into Italy their faces only a few inches from each others now. He didn't even try to hide his worry now, he looked also sick at how much he was worried about him. Why was that? With their faces so close Italy's face went a deep red, but it only got worse when he got a glimpse of the worried blue eyes and felt one of Germanys hand place on his face. His heart just raced, recalling the last time he was this close to anyone like this and crying. Germany brushed his thumb and wiped away Italy's last tear; "If zou need to cry, cry got it?" He said, almost whispering because of how close they were.

Italy sniffled a little and nodded, letting the smile slip a little until on a weak one was on his face, one he felt by being so close to him. But then Italy remembered, he didn't he remember anything he did, nothing before the grave was sent 6 feet under, and that thought made his heart sink. But his thought was interrupted by a clearing of a throat that was from the doorway, he jumped a bit and Germany let go of his face. Prussia and Romano where standing in the doorway, Romano couldn't help but smile just a bit but only cause he was standing behind Prussia. And of course Prussia's smile was more of a perverted smirk. "Should we come back later then?" he said glancing behind himself but not enough so that he could see Romano's sweet smile.

Maybe staying the might wouldn't be so bad after all. _

A/N: So as you can see, this is the longest chapter yet, but at least I made it alright since I added an almost kiss scene right?


	11. Remember Me?

A/N: Hey, so here we are again and after thinking about it I think we'll end this fairly soon though I have to think of a good sweet ending or a really bitter one. Maybe I'll post an aldertivate ending chapter? Who knows anyway, hope you enjoy this is where we see how HRE lost his memories. So have fun reading that gore, I might need to up the rating a bit but you guys have been warned about this single slightly gorey scene so I guess it's fine bye now, off to writing!

XXXXX

Italy's face was even redder then it was a second ago. "Oh, it's fine. The gelato is just in the freezer." His small smile turned to the large faked one once again, Germany let out a sigh it had been for nothing he guessed. Prussia just kept smiling and walked over to their fridge, but as he did so Italy quickly turned on his heels and walked back over to the sink where he had gathered all the dishes getting right to work. In the end, Romano was the one helping Italy with the dishes. Just because he hated it there didn't mean they hadn't been there enough times for him to remember where the plates and cups where kept. Prussia was just going on about how awesome the frozen treat had tasted, not more so than him but pretty awesome, Germany watched as the other two worked making sure not to reorganize his kitchen while they did the dinner dishes.

The night was fairly boring afterwards, they took turns watching movies. Romano's of course was a mafia movie called one hundred steps, Prussia and Germany had agreed on a German classic but luckily for the brothers there was subtitles so they could understand it as well, then it was finally Italy's turn to choose. He had chosen A Roman Holliday, but by the time it was his turn Romano had gone off to bed, wanting to call Spain first he went to bed fairly early. By the end, both Italy and Prussia seemed very into the movie and as the cerits rolled by, Germany turned off the TV to find the two crying happily. He rolled his blue eyes at the sight, he should have figured as much, no matter how AWESOME his brother was, he was a sucker for romance movies though he never would admit to it.

After a minute of wiping his tear Prussia stood up and yawned "Well, the AWESOME me is off to bed now, see you guys in the morning." Prussia couldn't have seen what was coming, no one in the house could have. Italy was trying to calm down, no matter how many times he had seen the movie, he still cried every single time. He said his goodnight to Prussia as he walked away but was still sobbing lightly, so he waved. As he was finally calming down Germany sat next to Italy, looking over at him wondering if it was to movie that was causing the tears. "Vey, you going to bed zoon you should I put in a different movie?" He asked calm, still pondering the question, but also another one had rosin. Why was it, ever since he had read that letter had he felt guilty? Italy just nodded and moved a little onto the couch now, he was hugging a pillow and it didn't look that he was going to let go of it anytime soon. "I think I'll just sleep out here for now." Italy yawned, his tears a small smile now. The expression changed so fast that Germany hadn't even noticed at first. The blonde nodded, not wanted to argue and stood up, "Vell, night then Felianno." He said before leaving the living room to go up to his own bed, his head started to ache again. Maybe he'd get some sleep this time.

Italy laid down on the couch, Romano didn't want to share a bed after what had happened last time, boy had that been awkward, so Italy said he'd let Romano had the bed and that he'd sleep on the couch, both Germans had argued that he didn't have to Prussia had made a crude comment about how he didn't mind sharing a bed with him but was glared don fairly quick. He just stared into the darkness for a few minutes, feeling as though he was being drifted somewhere else but his mind stayed awake. His mind did wonder though, as usual back to that day. All those bodies.

_It had started just like any other, the little Italy was wearing his dress and was doing his work cleaning up after the dinner that Hungary had helped him make. It was peaceful in fact, but the child was wearing a sad face unlike most days. "Miss Hungary?" He asked in his high voice, sounding even sadder than his expression had looked. "Something feels wrong in my stomach but I'm not feeling ill." This caught the older nation's attention, "What do you mean Feli?" She asked with a small smile, wondering if it could be what she thought it was. "well… Um something it's like it feels kind of fuzzy, like when Holy Roman Empire was around but… different too, it feels bad not like when he was where… I'm gonna go for a walk Vee~?" He asked and she nodded, she was right._

_The young nation walked around the outside of the house, trying to get the feeling out of his system but something broke his happy feeling. He smelt smoke. In a slight panic he looked over to a field that Austria's house faced away from, and all he could see from how far away it was the golden color that hung in the sky underneath what seemed to be a cloud of smoke. The child was frozen, what should he do? But the call wasn't up to him, his feet has already started to walk down that way, almost running in the tall grass. It had taken a while but he had gotten closer after about 15 minutes he could see the horrifying scene before him. Bodies, they were everywhere, as was the smell of their rotting parts and burning flesh. But he ignored the smell that hung in the air alone with the ash that looked as if it was snowing down, Italy's hazel eyes where fixed on the flags that looked tattered and ripped. It was his flag, Holy roman empire was home!_

_With joy he had started to run again, cringing a little as he felt some crunches under his shoes. He didn't want to think what it was but from what he could guess looking back on the day he had to have been stepping on bodies. He ran towards the hill, not aware that the fight was done and it was all that remains. It was so hard to breath as he got to the top of the hill, one he knew to be covered in snow, but it wasn't the right color to be so. It was tainted with crimson all over it, the cold hurt his skin to run threw but he didn't care. Holy Roman was back!_

_Once at the stop of the hill he ran to the flag and saw a small body. No, it couldn't have been. As he got closer he saw the blonde hair and weak blue eyes, a thing he had missed for a very long time. But at the sight of the body, he noticed that he was sitting down, the eyes not looking at him even though he was so close to the other nation. But there was something that caused the little nation's eyes to fill with tears but he kept walking forward, the flesh that he had seen was too much, and the blood the covered the dark clothes that the little blonde usually wore where damp with the crimson fluid. A small cough came from the body and a smile came over Italy's face. He was really there. "Holy roman? Let's get-a you out-a here." He somehow picked up the boy and felt him weakly hold onto him, but nothing was said. Only as the little nation who was now carrying the boy whom he loved, walked back did he noticed the full scene before him. Sure he had seen a few bodies as he ran for his love but, not like this._

_There had to be thousands, some set a flame and causing the smell burning flesh to fill the air, others bloodied to such a degree that organs hung out. His heart sank, all those people. He took another step only to feel a familiar crunch underneath his feet. He dared not to look down at what he knew to be laying underneath his buckle black shoes, it wasn't more than a scattered arm but he needed to get his Holy Rome home before anything else could happen._

All he could think was the scene in which he walked home looking over as he layed down on the couch, somehow now unable to sleep. He always had problems sleeping here, something about being alone and something about the unforgotten memories of his own that where in the very walls always made him wide awake and unable to sleep, but he couldn't wake anyone else up just because he couldn't sleep, that wouldn't be very nice after they had put up with him all day. So what to do? He had gotten up at some point to start pacing, maybe he'd just check up on them, would that help him sleep to know everyone was alright? He made the decision and started to walk towards where Romano was sleeping. Once he was at the door he opened it slightly, thankfully this door had been oiled so it didn't squeak and wake him up. His looked so peaceful when he was in dreamland, as if all the bad things that haunted him was left in this world, he even smiled a bit as he shifted in his bed. On to Prussia's room.

Italy walked down the hall, to where Prussia slept and did a lot of other things as well. Italy turned the knob of the door slowly, not sure if this door was creaky or not and still didn't wish to wake him up. Sure Italy had forgiven him about what had happened but he still didn't want to him to be the one to wake up and comfort him. As he peaked into Prussia's room, which was lit by a red light, he noticed the slight smirk on his face as he slept. He was even trying to convince others he was happy or AWESOME as he would say, in his sleep. But after staying there for a minute longer, Italy saw the pained but peaceful look on his face, maybe he was having a happy dream then. Looking about the room for a moment, Italy thought it was time to move on. As he shut the door and started walking to the different level of the house, he let out a breath of depression.

_"Don't forget me Holy Roman!"_

He was now just looking at the slightly open door that lead into his room as he clutched at the pillow he had still refused to let go of. Taking in a long and deep breath, his looking in the room. Nothing really new, every little thing was in place as Germany was on his bed. But unlike the others, Germany wasn't having an alright dream nor one he wouldn't remember. He'd remember every little detail once he woke up. And the look he wore showed it, the pain his mind had let him go threw once more without giving warning. Italy had seen him with a look of discomfort, of annoyance and even saddened but never pained like that. His chest not only skipped a few beats but also it became harder to breath as he looked at the expression he wore while asleep, what could be done? Italy had moved into the room once he asked himself this question, as if his body wanted to do one thing while he wanted to do another.

'_No, I wont wake him up' _he thought to himself as he tried to restrain himself from making Germany feel better and maybe get some sleep himself. But at the thought of sleeping happily next to Germany his mind slipped just a bit and before he could catch himself he was already under the covers next to the blonde nation. No longer able to hold in his breath, he let out a long sigh it was the only way it sounded normal to him, if he sighed a bit.

Germany was strong, whatever nightmare he was having he'd be fine by morning. '_Nothing could break his mind' _was Italy's last thought before the warmth of the slightly heavy breathing nation next to him and the feeling of comfort let him fall asleep finally. If only that was where the night truly ended.

A/N: Hey guys! Just wanted to say, with in the next few chpters I should be done so get ready for a different set of stories to be written! If anyone had requests I'd love to hear them, as I might not have a good idea for a while.

Or better yet! I work very well if you give me a song that fits what you want me to do or give a quote for it. You wont be disappointed! Kay well I'm going to think of other stuff to write now so, bye~


	12. Chapter 12 HappyEndings

A/N: Hey, so here we will hopefully see what's going to happen to Germany after he remembers! So this will be one of the last chapters and I want to say that this has been awesome, all you guys reading along with me even though this is such an over used story idea. I hope you continue to read my other stuff, and hopefully you enjoy the last few chapters and when I say few I mean this one and the other ending, but only if I get some messages saying you want one. Anyway, here's to the end of this story and to you guys who have made it this far! Yay for you!

XXXXX

Italy got a few hours of sleep before he was woken; fear rushing threw him as he recalled his dream. Always, it was always the same. The fire, the blood. He was shaking and covered in sweat, wanting nothing more to wake up Germany and hear his voice, even if he would yell it make him feel better. But as he looked at Germany's almost pained face, he decided not to, he had his own nightmares to deal with. Usually if he was in someone else's bed, such as Romano's it wouldn't be as bad. But tonight it was clearer and more vivid than usual, which he wasn't sure if it was possible but clearly it was. He sat up slowly, getting out from underneath the covers he had stolen and placed his feet on the cold hardwood floor. Italy gulped and stood up slowly, hoping to not wake up Germany but also that the monsters that he could almost feel watching him wouldn't drag him out of no were.

After he stood up, he took a few steps regaining his balance and slowly crept to the door holding onto the handle once he had gotten there, since he was still half asleep at the moment Italy was even clumsier then he usually would and was trying his best to not fall over. He opened the door lowly, holding his breath as it did, as if the amount it creaked was linked to his breathing, took a step out of the room and did the same as he closed it behind him. Once it was closed he left out a sigh, exhaling all the breath he had just held in, but also something else happened. As if his mind only had sunken the thought in then, a wave of depression came over Italy the thought he had repressed for so long trying to take over his mind.

There is no hope.

Suddenly there were tears in his eyes and he was doing everything he could not to sob right in front of the door. He needed air really badly now, more than ever because it felt as though he was drowning, out of no were. He rushed down the stairs somehow not making a single sound, and opened the front door once again forgetting his shoes or jacket despite the cold weather. He took a deep and sharp breath once he was outside, and it did help a bit but only enough to have a tear fall but only the one. He didn't notice at first but his feet where going to where they always went when he was upset, or so it seemed. His eye's where to blurry to notice much less but also to lost in his thoughts to notice his cold feet.

'He forgot you. There is no way he could remember you, much less be with you.'

As a child Italy's worst fear once he hit puberty wasn't the fact that everyone gave him odd looks for wearing dresses or that Austria had freaked out, no, his fear was that Holy Roman Empire would find out, and not love him anymore. He had thought Italy was a girl his whole life, what would he think if Italy turned out to be a boy? It was his worst fear, and now he had to go through the overthinking that comes with any fear, running it threw his head over and over all the things that could happen. In his deep thought he didn't notice where he was heading until he looked at the hill before him.

Why did it always come back to this place?

He sat at the grave taking uneven breathes trying to calm down but the starry night with snow still only softly falling and gathering together, it only reminded him how dark the world was around him. Just how alone he truly was.

XXXXX

Germany woke up in panic, short of breath and the smell from his dream still filled his lungs and thoughts. woued heavy, remembering what had happened. Had that really happened? It couldn'That awful smoke, red everywhere, and yet the smell of morning dew. It almost suffocated him in the room at he tried to either recall or forget the dream. He wasn't sure which to do at the moment. It couldn't have been his memory so shouldn't he forget it?

Dead silence was all that was in the room with him and his thoughts, all trying to calm himself down. He felt his mind slipping somehow, maybe into sleep once more or death or maybe even to let him go to paraidce. He didn't care, he didn't want to slip but his heart felt heavy. Too much for himself to handle.

Everyone screaming echoed in his mind, begging for life to carry on. Or at least, at least to not have their last breaths in pain. But he could do nothing to shut up the voices, or to make them get better. He felt just so tried, but not wanted to sleep. They continued to echo, making him want to go away. But then, then there was silence all at the sight of his beautiful young maid. Germany understood the feeling towards her, even if not his own. No, it couldn't be his own!

At the sight of her worried and tearful eyes, the moans and cries seemed to turn to music. Was it violin? He couldn't tell with his mind wondering, but he could tell that to this day nothing could sound sweeter. Nothing in the world could compare to his little Italia or the music.

In this dream, he recalled knowing he was good as dead. Something he hadn't felt before. He tried to get the last words out of his mouth, to comfort the worried looking girl-ish looking boy.

"Never forget me."

The blonde quoted the dream, sitting up and looking about his own room as if seeing it in a new light. Everything felt out of place, like it hadn't been there before or he had woken from a nap which lasted years. He blinked back tears, you would to. Feeling lost and out of place, he needed right then to see Italy.

Before he could stop himself, he found himself walking to the living room, his mind yelling inwards to stop, just stop! He couldn't do this, if it had happened. If it truly was himself. He remembered the look on Italy's small face, the tears of fear and heartache on his face, what if it happened again? But he looked around the room, painiced yet again, he was there!

Where could he be?

Was he alright?

He tried calming himself down but it hadn't worked, he was with romano right? Wanted to sleep in a bed, but knew in his heart that his mind was lying. It always lied to him.

Then he looked to the door, could he? Not thinking he walked up to it, only 3 pair of shoe's. At least he had the decency to put them on this time. He put his own on, his mind still yelling at him but not listening. What was the point?

He wanted to see him, his needed too, to see the smile of his to touch or look upon the slightly tanned skin. It was something that had to be done. Where was he going, where would Italy be? He didn't know nor did he care, he just followed his feet and heart it take him to Italy right? XXXXX

Italy was sitting on the snow, just by the large cross the stuck out of the ground yet again. He was playing with his own, cold as the blanket of snow where he sat. He could see his own breath threw his teary eyes as he looked at the stars. Why did he have to live with the memories? It was unfair to remember that day, the smell of the hospital and the other ill as he sat by his side his dress still covered in others blood. Why him!

Romano got his Spain, Austria his Hungary and everyone else got their loves. Why did he always have to be so alone? He chuckled a little to himself, how could Germany ever feel that love his holy roman did? That unconditional, never giving up love that he held onto his whole life. He had only known it once and the person who was there had been lost. The night was cold but he could tell the sun be up soon, he wondered to himself how long it take for the others to notice his apsance.

Would they even care? It's not like anyone actually cared enough about him. To tell him, or to not have to deal with this pain on his own. He shut his eyes tight, trying to get him out his own head. He could forget too, as if nothing every happened. But then he fell asleep to the sad thoughts, still holding onto his cross in his sleep just hoping not to wake up in the back of his mind.

XXX But when he was woken by soft rays of light, just peaking up over the hurizen many hours later he didn't feel so cold. Something comforting was in the air, he looked to his side seeing a jacket over his shoulders and a shadow in front of him. Of course he put on his faked smile and looked at them, to see the tall and buck nation in front of him. H-How did he know about this place? It didn't matter he stood up and went to hug him, he was allowed to cry in front of him right?

There was something off about him though, a silent comforting sort of thing. Germany hugged him, just holding him, able to let his breath go now that he could hold him. Was he holding his breath? He hadn't noticed. Italy had just cried and sobbed into his chest, never wanting to let go.

Why had he just jumped up to cry to him, that didn't make sense, not that he ever did but he knew he wasn't thinking. The jacket had somehow stayed on his shoulders as he clung to Germany, and he could hear Germany's heart beat. It was racing, ever so fast but slowed down as he started to talk just a single phrase.

"Never forget me alright Feliciano?" he said, before kissing Italy's head, the copper colored hair of his was ever so soft. Italy just cried harder at this, why did he have to quote him.

Wait.

He knew just what to say, could he? It only then struck him that Germany might have remembered and that was why he seemed different. Only slightly mind you but enough to have him notice. Then he spoke again, "I wont forget you again." Italy knew he couldn't cry harder, though it wasn't because he was sad anymore, but because he wasn't alone.

He had his Holy Roman Empire back, and he had his Germany. He had the one person he truly loved back, just like everyone else. "L-Let's go home." Italy sobbed a little into his chest a bit more, the sound was muffled since he wouldn't let the taller nation go, so he just nodded.

At last, he wasn't alone.

A/N: Hey, so there was the second last chapter the finally wrap up is next week sorry I suck at endings


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